The Game by Neil Strauss

If you haven’t read “The Game” yet, you should.

It’s a fun read - though I strongly suggest you read it as entertainment more than education.

I am in it, and am referred to as “Playboy” throughout.

It was a fun time in life, but between you and me - I am glad it is over.

I thought I would now give you a bit of insight into the book, as so many have read it - and I want you to know from ME why the attitudes Neil espoused are so flawed.

In particular, I want to zoom in on one idea in particular - this concept of “identity”.

If you look up the word “identity” in the dictionary, it will tell you this:

1 a : sameness of essential or generic character in different instances;

2 a : the distinguishing character or personality of an individual

“Sameness” and “Distinguishing” are the critical words here.

What is constant about you? When you relate to others, what is it that you notice about them that distinguishes them from others?

What might someone say about you? Feel free to ask people, if you want.

In fact, if you don’t have a good idea about what distinguishes you - you should ask your 3 closest friends in the next 24 hours. SERIOUSLY. The experience and feedback could be massively eye-opening.

Typically, a person has a chief feature which somehow defines them to others. It might be that they are generous, open, or happy. Or, it could mean that they are suspicious, thrifty and negative. This little exercise is useful, but not really what we are looking for here.

What is more useful to men looking to improve their relationships with women, is to both understand themselves internally and then how that manifests externally (which is the entire point of my company, CEIC).

Dare I say, the entire point of “the game” is to refuse what is internal and attempt in every way possible to create an entirely new “identity” to manifest externally.

This leads to the ongoing pattern of guys seeming “incongruent”.

They seem incongruent because they ARE incongruent.

Here’s the rub though, when a guy tries through whatever measure to become congruent with this new identity, material, routine, clothing etc., he denies his true nature, his true identity.

Most guys in the community have a VERY apparent strangeness to them - no one I have met - well, save a very few (Mike, my former partner, was one of them, “26″, who worked with us at Project Hollywood, another), are cool, laid-back guys with a real life, and a real sense of their identity.

The others have filled their brain with behaviors, thought patterns, and enforced circuitry which is very unhealthy, and ironically, furthers them from their goal. It INCREASES the real space between them and themselves, exacerbating the issue of being incongruent.

What happens then? Well, the only women who would be attracted to such a confused and childish specimen would be someone equally confused and lost. You attract AT your level. Let this be a warning against pick-up, or at least most offerings of pick-up:

You can only develop yourself by becoming and evolving as yourself in the end, you will fool NO ONE by playing in the land of make believe. If you want better relationships, and higher-quality women/people in your life, you have to develop yourself first.

Also, an identity is NEVER built - it is something that we discover along the path of leading a healthy lifestyle. Identity, in the CEIC lexicon, is the same as “self-image”. The only time a man needs to build his identity is when he refuses to discover and develop the one given to him. This arrogance makes the host pay dearly down the road - this is your second warning.

So, how then do we develop our identities in a healthy way, which can naturally attract like-minded people into our lives?

#1) Refuse, right now, to ever play games with women or people again. No more gimmicks, no more routines, no more FRs, LRs, DHVs etc. C’mon guys - are you still playing this BS?

#2) What do you WANT out of life? What do you feel is your purpose for being here? It certainly isn’t to manipulate and lie, I can assure you. If you were to die today, what would be the deepest source of sorrow for you? If you can sincerely face this question, you have a chance of really growing-up. The key to knowing and feeling your identity, is in first knowing and feeling your purpose. You might not know the true meaning of your life, but you might at least be curious enough NOW to begin to strive to understand that.

#3) Based on knowing your real purpose, how then should you spend your time? If you could architect your calendar, what would it look like? One thing that can directly help improving my self image, is to spend time with people whom I feel happy to be with, and in doing things that fill me with passion and joy. Taking action in the direction on REAL self-development and life-enhancement is the best way to improve self-esteem.

#4) Speaking of who you spend your time with - how active is your social circle? How often do you need social interaction? Most of us need a balance of being alone, and being with people. Do you have this balance? Also, how often do you venture out with them and try new things? New restaurants, events, galleries, movies, parties - there is certainly a lot more than meets the eye happening in your neck of the woods, are you actively exploring this? Try doing one new thing/restaurant/venue per month with your friends.

#5) With intelligence, can you grow this social circle? Can you involve more people who share like-minded interests and perspectives? This is where social skills actually come in handy (which I cover ad nauseam in “How To Get A Girlfriend” and the “Natural Attraction” audio program) so that you can present yourself in a socially intelligent way to people, not in a socially manipulative way - BIG difference. By meeting new people, and by encouraging your friends to bring along new people, you very naturally are able then to meet new people. If you do interesting and cool activities, these people will be even more interested in being involved.

What happens if you can master these five points is that you really begin to grow and build self-esteem by honoring your true nature.

There is nothing that can be gained by denying your true nature.

Also, you begin to magnetize like-minded people to you, including…

WOMEN.

The best way to meet women for relationships is to attract them to you by living autonomously and honestly. If your lifestyle is actively social you will have NO problem meeting women AND they will have things in common with you. Also, women (and men) tend to want to meet someone for a relationship in a safe and healthy way.

The healthy women don’t WANT to meet anyone via a cold approach, they want it to happen as it happens normally - through the process of living and socializing.

So, in short, there really is no “identity building” in real life (there might be in the “Donky-Kong” game lifestyle). What there is is identity discovery and development, but from the inside-out not from the ego-in. This is the only way to experience real self-esteem development, and therefore real, healthy
relationships with people in general, and with women in specific.

You might notice here that I espouse a rather natural path to dating and attraction success. If you’ve stumbled across other websites (Mystery’s, Neil’s, RSD, etc), you might be struck with how much they preach “game”. There is a huge difference, and there is a reason why.

Project Hollywood was a massive incubator for some amazing progress in the field of “dating help for men”. We all entered into the experience primarily as students of Mystery - who is by far the world’s best pick-up artist. However, following the meltdown of ProHo, there emerged a 2nd school of thought - differing from Mystery’s routine-based model.

That new road was blazed by myself, my former business partner Mike (Sickboy, in “The Game”), Barry Kirkey (”Extramask”) and Cameron Teone (”The One”). This road is about being natural and normal, BUT with the added “edge” of technique fostered by the community and our experiences in the field.

We mutually realized that success with women starts from the INSIDE. Sure, “The Game” and all its gimmicks, will get you some short-term success with women. You might get a few phone numbers, and some dates too. But, eventually, a guy begins to be so incongruent, so conflicted, that women begin to lose trust in him. Once this happens, you are fucked my friend.

The other path that we’ve blazed is based in natural attraction. Sure, I teach guys gimmicks and routines, as training wheels only. More importantly, I’ll coach you on how to drop these, and on how to learn SKILLS so that you can always know “what to say” and “how to say it” with women.

That’s where true and lasting success lie. Between your natural identity, developed and evolved AND some breakthrough, cutting-edge social skills and techniques (that you’ll only find from a Natural Pick-Up Artist like myself) lies the YOU that will meet and attract women for LIFE.

That is the precise point of this website, my programs and products, and my business…

So, sure you should read “The Game”. In fact, here’s a link to where you can buy it right now:

Buy “The Game”

But, read it only as entertainment - kind of like fiction. If you want real answers, and techniques that will last you your whole life with women, then you should download my eBook “How To Get A Girlfriend” right now:

Instant Download of How To Get A Girlfriend

Thanks for visiting my website.

Stephen Nash