The Natural Art of the Pick-up
Stephen Nash | Comments 5

One Good Dating Tip: When To Say “Can I Buy You A Drink?”

If a woman smiles at you from across the room, how do you approach her?  She’s practically SCREAMING for you to come and talk to her.  But, what is NOW the best way to begin the conversation?

Before you even begin to move towards her, remember to keep it simple and never do more than you really need to do.

Use the E/S opener.

The Environmental/Situational opener (E/S) is where we approach a woman with a rather simple question which can possibly lead to a longer, more interesting conversation.  Some examples:

  • Nice bag, is that a new Gucci?
  • Do you like this painting?
  • Wow, that dance floor is packed!
  • Boy this line is taking forever.
  • Can I buy you a drink? (yes, you can say it…if she gives you a strong signal of interest…happy now?)

 

The structure:

Notice the environment and pull a relevant question or comment from it that you pose to her.  The ONE thing you know that you have in common with her currently is the CONTEXT of your surroundings.  So, start from there.  Simple and easy (as it should be).

If you are a physically attractive guy, this might be all you need to do at ANY point EVER socially.  Or, if she gives you a big smile, or other obvious signal from across the room, then approaching with an E/S opener is BEST.

Remember, never do more than you need.  If you have a strong “gut” feeling that she’s into you pose an E/S opener to her.

The E/S skill gets a lot of criticism as it is rather plain and unflashy.  But, if she gives you a strong signal of interest, why would you do more?  In other words, this CAN be a very effective skill, if used at the right time…

Stephen Nash

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About the Author: Stephen Nash is the founder of Cutting Edge Image Consulting. He is an Original Pick-up Artist and a well documented expert. Stephen has worked with thousands of clients, and is the author of the best-selling How To Get a Girlfriend.

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  1. Yummy Stale Bread | May 30, 2010 | Reply

    An E/S opener is completely unnecessary. If the woman “smiles at you from across the room . . . [and] [s]he’s practically SCREAMING for you to come and talk to her” then that has turned from a cold approach into a warm approach. Walk directly up to her and introduce yourself. Sure you can transition into situational conversation but there is absolutely no need to open with it.

  2. Kat | Oct 6, 2010 | Reply

    Good post. Those simple opening lines are great, or even just introducing yourself works great too. ;) I had to laugh about the purse comment. If a guy noticed and then commented on my purse, I wouldn’t be fond of that. If it weren’t a “Gucci” for instance, I would think he’s being sarcastic and that wouldn’t rub off too well. Or I’d think he was high maintenance which isn’t my thing. And I never smile or even make eye contact with guys, they pretty much have to approach me cold turkey. That’s just me. My friends do it differently though. lol. So imagine how many guys I’ve missed out on..

  3. Mike @ As Seen on TV | Apr 22, 2011 | Reply

    You should never buy a girl a drink unless it’s guaranteed that she’s attracted to you already. I think it means desperation and that you want something in return. Not crazy about the gucci bag opener.. when are guys interested in handbags, that’s just as lame as asking if she wants a drink.

  4. Stephen Nash | Apr 22, 2011 | Reply

    It’s all in the tone/delivery. You can say ANYTHING if it’s accompanied with the proper, slightly sarcastic, tone. Also, if you offer something from a place of real power, it never comes across as supplicative – hard to imagine I’m sure if one has forever lacked self-esteem.

    But, hey, you got a link out of it right Mike?

    Sn

  5. LOALoveCoach | Jul 24, 2011 | Reply

    Hi Stephen,

    Thanks for your tips. I will definitely send my shy guys your way…

    Best to you,
    Catherine

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