Guy Talk: How Do You Answer This?
I’m currently working up a new program I call the “How To Get A Girlfriend Insider’s Guide“. It’s a 6-month subscription program that allows people deep access into my process for dating success, and a clear path for how to get a girlfriend. One aspect of this new program is a monthly interview I conduct with an expert in the field.
There’s this ONE question I’ve been asking everyone that I now want to ask of YOU. I’ve been surprised and thoroughly delighted with the replies. It is a real thought-provoker, and I think it could lead to some intriguing discussion here on the blog.
So, I want YOU to participate and share your answer as I will now share mine – cool?
Here’s the question:
If today were your 16 year-old son’s birthday, what one piece of advice would you give him? This can relate to women, life, career, family, etc. But, you can only provide ONE piece of advice.
What would it be?
Like most really good things, this question just popped into my head when conducting one of the interviews recently. The responses to it have been so interesting, I decided to bring it here to the blog and hopefully get your reply.
Here’s mine:
FAIL OFTEN.
So, in other words, don’t be afraid to make mistakes, screw up, etc. Don’t NOT do something for a fear of failure – something I see stymie men left and right, all day long.
I also think it would engender a healthy embracing of failure. The reason this is important, of course, is that success is always a number of failures away. It’s just a question of how many. So, the more you fail, the closer you get to reaching your goal in ANY area of life.
I like this line of thinking, and how it opens me, and others (and ostensibly, my non-existant 16 yr old son) to LIVING and DOING.
Put some skin in the game, in other words – get out there and dive in. Failure won’t hurt as much as a life unlived will.
I debated with this one and “ASK FOR HELP”…but went with the former as, in some ways, it includes the latter.
So, that’s my answer plus my reasons why. What is yours?
Stephen Nash.
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About the Author: Stephen Nash is the founder of Cutting Edge Image Consulting. He is an Original Pick-up Artist and a well documented expert. Stephen has worked with thousands of clients, and is the author of the best-selling 
Thanks Rudy! Glad you enjoyed it man. 
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David Black | May 6, 2010 | Reply
Someone else has already overcome whatever problem you are facing at any point in your life. Find them and learn from them.
Kaare Fog | May 6, 2010 | Reply
My piece of advice would be:
Carpe diem. That is, seize the moment. The chance that you have right now will not come again. It is only now. If you wait for `the right moment´, you will probably have to wait for half of your life. And life is too short for that.
Michael | May 6, 2010 | Reply
I would tell him that what makes a man is less about what happens to us, and more about how we handle it.
I want him to understand that he won’t always be able to come through as he would want. I also understand that everyone respects someone who handles disappointments and setbacks with poise, because we all will face them.
–I want him to understand that he will face rejection from women, some that he are really into. He will approach a woman and he will flub it. He will take her on a date and she won’t feel it for him. He will get into a relationship with a woman he is really into, and she might leave him. And he will feel searing pain that might last a long time, due to biochemical reactions beyond his control. That doesn’t mean that he isn’t a good man. It is more about how he handles her rejection.
–I want him to understand that he will face challenges and obstacles on the way to achieving his dreams. And even that not all goals will come true. Not everyone can be the next LeBron James, and not everyone can be a Division I college athlete. I want him to give it his all anyway. And to also understand when he cannot do any more and when it is time to stop.
–I want him to understand that there are others who will try to use their power to intimidate him–physical or financial (e.g., a bad boss). I want him to learn to deal with confrontation as a mature man.
Great question!
Michael | May 6, 2010 | Reply
And I don’t mean what I wrote in a downer sort of way. Actually, I mean this to encourage him when times are tough and the chips are down.
Whenever we go through something rough, like a bad breakup, a tough situation at work, and so on, we have a tendency to think that it is all our fault. That this is happening to us because there is something fundamentally wrong with us–that if we were ‘good’, the sun would be shining on us all the time.
I’d want my son to understand that this isn’t the case. He is going to go through storms just as every good man before him has. It’s less personal and more universal. The way he handles them and the way he handles himself is a very big measure of him as a man.
SHUAIB MACHINGAL | May 7, 2010 | Reply
First you try to understand what a women completely(solomnly)expect from you,then make an attachment or detachment.
Pablo Cruise | May 7, 2010 | Reply
Stephen, this is a very good question. It really got me thinking about my own life…and this most likely non-existent 16 year old boy.
I thought about this for a long time. I think my challenges with women have come from one place…and I’m not pointing fingers or placing blame. Being shamed or teased for liking a girl. You remember when you were young and a sibling or in my case, my mother, would say “What is that your girlfriend. Ewwww!” It always made me embarrassed. I began to associate attraction to a girl as something to be ashamed of.
I would tell my son to never be ashamed of what he is feeling and to understand that it is normal to be attracted to someone. You have a right to talk to anyone you want. I would tell him it’s no big deal if you are rejected. Don’t worry about the number of times it doesn’t work out…look to the times when it does.
Finally I would tell him…be proud to be a man. Being a real man is a great thing to aspire to be. If it doesn’t work out there will never be any doubt that the pleasure was worth all the pain.
Alex | May 7, 2010 | Reply
Stephen,
This is a great question. This type of question can be taken in many ways. It can be a answer where we feel we have to live our life through our kids and make sure they don’t make the same mistakes you make. I don’t think that works too well. because it teaches them to run away from whats risky and difficult.
So failing often is a very good piece of advice. I wanted to add something to that too. That is not to leave any crumbs behind when it comes to relationships, career, or society. That means, whatever you do, leave on good terms and leave a good trail behind on your past impact. A failure can be falling short of a quota but make sure it is not a work relationship problem where your rep is on the line (cheating, scam, greed). Fail gracefully and be honest with yourself. Because if you leave enough crumbs behind you, unfortunately all you attract in life are rats (energy-killers, poor relationship, hard job-seeking,etc…)
Stephen Nash | May 11, 2010 | Reply
Great stuff guys. Love all of these. Seems like a common theme here is “have no regrets” Very interesting.
M. Scot | May 22, 2010 | Reply
Life starts where comfort ends. Push against fear and comfort. Taken me along time to learn that
Stephen Nash | May 25, 2010 | Reply
Yeah, I agree M – that one’s very important. I like it cause it’s so simple and clear. Great add.
Jones | Dec 24, 2010 | Reply
1.) Read very widely, and as much as you can, when you can. Reading broadens your perspective, and in often unexpected, seemingly unrelated ways.
2.) Develop an awareness of, and pay attention to, your mental health throughout your life.
You know about it and recognise it when you have a cold, or scrape your knee, but too many people, both men and women, are walking around with undiagnosed depression, anxiety, and other extremely common mental health issues. If you are struggling, see a doctor, who can refer you to a specialist – it is one of the best things you will ever do for yourself.