First, allow me to eliminate any “bad” thoughts you might have about complimenting women by making this statement:
You SHOULD compliment a woman…if you really, really mean it AND if you do it the right way.
There’s some bad info floating around that says you shouldn’t compliment women. That if you do so, you will drain your power. That, if you don’t compliment her, she will chase you…blah blah blah. The guys who say that are single, bitter and lonely. Don’t listen to them.
Here’s your rule of thumb to use when complimenting a woman:
NEVER compliment her genetics, ALWAYS compliment Her
Many men make this error when complimenting a girl – they rave about her: eyes, hair, legs, boobs, ass, skin etc. I call this the “construction worker” syndrome. Ever see an attractive woman pass a construction site? If so, then you know exactly what I’m talking about. Don’t be like those guys – it NEVER works.
Sure, it’s nice she’s so pretty but you’re essentially complimenting God, her DNA or her parents when you go this route. Oh, and she’s also heard that before…and probably A LOT…and probably A LOT already TODAY.
Instead, compliment HER.
This means you’ve gotta pay attention a bit, but if you do, you can stand out from the other guys who don’t heed this advice.
Here are some great examples of compliments for women:
- I am so glad you have a sense of humor. I can’t tell you how boring it is to socialize with people who simply aren’t able to kick back and poke fun at the ironies of living in New York City.
- (if she says something particularly witty) OK, OK…now, that was funny…so, tell me, was it your mother or father who had such a sharp wit? I am interested. Or, maybe like me, you were just made fun of a lot when you were a kid and had to learn the hard way. (the “like me” part is key as it opens you up, shows some vulnerability, see that?)
- I like your style, it’s clear you have great taste in fashion. So often people wear stylish clothes, but it still comes across as generic. Your look is cool because it is stylish and it works so well for your personality. I admire people who have that balance of style and self-awareness.
- You have a cool kind of confidence about you. Sometimes that could mean you have great parents, and a strong family support system. Or, it could mean that you had to fend for yourself a lot when you were younger. Which was it?
In my 3-phase approach for meeting women, I always suggest a guy compliment a woman in the “connect” stage of the interaction. But, if your instincts cry out – “compliment her”! And you do so as above, you will not only make her feel seen and heard for who she is, BUT you will also be different from the trolls out there just looking for any action they can get.