The Natural Art of the Pick-up

Diary Of A Pick-Up Artist

Me ("Playboy") & Courtney Love, Project Hollywood, 2004

The date was February 29th, 2004. 

The location: Project Hollywood.  I had been living there for just about six weeks.

I was recently going through some old notebooks and stumbled across a diary entry from Project Hollywood.  As I read it, I could feel the sensations return to me and reexperienced the truth of being a ‘world-class’ pick-up artist.

It’s not a pretty picture.

Let this be a warning to current PUAs or prospective PUAs.  This is the true view from the top:

I am single, and I feel loneliness ever day.  I am new to LA, so my surroundings are quite unfamiliar and seemingly unfriendly.  I live in a mansion in the H’wood Hills with other players, thus creating a strange undercurrent of competition, insecurity and rudeness.  I ‘sarge’ in hopes of meeting a woman whom I can choose to be with, rather than one who chooses me.

I am tired of my material.  Tonight, I will try something new and different:

  • Opener
  • BF test
  • “How do you guys know each other?”
  • AFC talk, or build commonalities game – F.A.P., mini cold reads, adoptions
  • Stories: Little Kid; Rollerblading; Theater-booger story; 1st GF-embarrassing; Albino GC

I am looking for GFs.

I must talk to hot women to keep my interest.

I want to create a connection with them.

I am alpha, I am dominant…(what does that mean to me???)

I need to go more natural, relax in the environment and be open to obvious social cues for entry

It’s painful to relive that frankly.  Those goals above did NOT happen until I stopped any/all PUA related actions.  I had to drop it all before any real connections could form.

They say the definition of ‘insanity’ is trying to same thing over and over again expecting a different result. 

See that list of material?  Those are gimmicks/routines that we were using at the time.  My solution to the loneliness and hopelessness of how I was feeling mentioned at the beginning of the entry was to try different routines.  That, by definition, is insane.  Oh, and hindsight verifies it – it didn’t work…not even close.

Chasing something real by running from the truth is no way to live.  That’s what I was doing.  Looking for a real connection and a lasting relationship by venturing forth into the fantasy land of pick-up was, and IS, insane.

You are warned.

Stephen Nash.

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About the Author: Stephen Nash is the founder of Cutting Edge Image Consulting. He is an Original Pick-up Artist and a well documented expert. Stephen has worked with thousands of clients, and is the author of the best-selling How To Get a Girlfriend.

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  1. What happened, by the way, when you were able to meet a girl you were attracted to and you were able to ‘pull’ her, so to speak?

    What typically happened the day after? The week after?

    Did you guys try ‘Day Game’ at the time?

    I’m asking you this because I for one wanted to be great at cold-approaching, precisely because I felt at the time that it would get me a girlfriend. I would have been much more likely to ‘set up shop’ at Whole Foods or the beach instead of the club, but I went through a period where I felt that I were to master cold-approaching, I would have handed to me the keys to the kingdom, so to speak.

  2. Quite normally she would never call/email us back. There was such an enormous breach of trust in doing what we did. We could stimulate them emotionally, perhaps, for long enough to get them back to the house. But, once they came to their senses away from that artificial environment, they would realize that something wasn’t ‘right’ about us. This led to a high rate of flaking.

    We did try day-game – very little difference.

    I understand the appeal of the cold approach, but it doesn’t factor in how WOMEN work. They are very keen on a man’s integrity, and have massive BS meters. If anything feels incongruent, they won’t take a chance – particularly those who have solid men in their lives already. It’s fools gold, in other words. The real stuff lies somewhere down the road in a real life.

    Sn.

  3. Thanks for the answer. My own experience is that the ‘take-rate’ is pretty low. Getting the # or email is actually the easy part. Getting her to respond and actually meet up again is the challenge.

    Then again, I have no illusions of being another Mystery. And I live in a smaller town, where most women are already either taken or have in their social circle plenty of guys. So I admit I still find myself wondering if it is possible for a guy to be able to *consistently* go to Whole Foods (in a bigger city) or Union Square and ‘pick out’ his next girlfriend, if only he has “everything” together enough…

  4. Maybe/maybe not Michael – but why spend years finding out? My point all along has been to get good at the 90% “game” which is focusing on developing a thriving lifestyle which naturally brings people together. I think the idea is to meet the right women, not get expert at pick-up.

    It’s the veritable forest and trees argument. One that holds up very well from my end.

    Sn.

  5. I agree with what you are saying, Stephen!

    What I was getting at is that the fantasy of ‘pickup being the answer’ is can be a hard one to shake. That said, if you do have the “90% game” down, approaching women does become easier, because we have stuff in our own lives to talk to her about,

  6. @Stephen: It’s encouraging to know that you were once where a lot of us find ourselves now, or have found ourselves in the recent past. Sometimes I wonder whether all my efforts are actually taking me anywhere… it’s nice to see that real positive change is possible!

    Would love to see more entries from the pickup days.

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