One Good Dating Tip: A First Date Tip

First dates are make or break…here’s a dating tip to help.

The first date is crucial for obvious reasons.  If it bombs, and there is no chemistry, then there will be no 2nd date.  Makes a ton of sense and should not be surprising, particularly for guys who consistently read this blog.

I do not believe you can FORCE chemistry, at all.  You cannot predict everything that will happen on the date and be therefore prepared for it.  So, you cannot truly control the outcome.  But, if you really dig the girl, the first date will feel like diving off of a high dive.  I’ve got some techniques that can help.

Recently, I met a new girl…and we’ve quickly established a very strong relationship (more on this in another post).  She’s AWESOME and we’re totally into each other.  Now, when I arrived to pick her up for our first date, I was super nervous.

Being ’super nervous’ is GOOD of course as it means you are attracted to her and that something real is at stake.  Over the years, I’ve developed a WAY to help me, AND her, relax right from the start.

Given that most of us have those first date jitters, how about a first date tip to soothe the system.

First Date Tip: Structure Something Interactive From The Start

Build in 2 activites on the first date, the first being interactive and engaging, and the second being more ’sit down and get to know each other’ sorta thing.  So, that first activity should be on your feet, active, moving around, and interacting with something ELSE (examples to come…don’t worry).  The 2nd activity is where you sit down and get to know each other over a meal, coffee, drink or dessert.

Many guys have this either completely backwards OR they totally omit the crucial first part.  Is it a bad idea to take a girl to dinner?  No.  BUT, if it’s the first - and, God Forbid - only thing you do…you lack imagination and skill (which is where I come in).

Living in New York, I love to go to art galleries.  In west Chelsea, there are tons of them which are open a lot on the weekends and that charge little to no entrance fee.  So, the idea on a first date is to have her meet you THERE.  Then, you enter together and enjoy the exhibit.  

Why is this so effective?  Usually one, or both of you, arrive nervous and anxious.  It can be hard to start up a relaxed, pleasant conversation in such a state.  So, the gallery (in this case), takes the pressure off.  You can discuss the art, the photography, the sculpture etc to ease the initial stage of the date.

Women LOVE it when guys can see that, and structure something initially that helps them (and you) relax.  The idea of going straight into a long meal and being face-to-face for an hour or two can be nerve-wracking (to say the least) 

From there, it’s simple to move into a meal with ease.  You have something you’ve mutually shared to talk about already which can ease any of those painful/awkward initial moments which are inevitable on a first date.

Here are some other great activites to do on a first date:

• Museums
• Parks
• Gardens
• Intriguing stores (vintage clothes shopping, exploring an interesting part of town)
• Poetry readings (short, and much better than plays or film)
• Street fairs
• Arcades (seriously)
• Free classes
• Neighborhoods

Be creative, and use this first date tip to help both you and her relax from the get-go.  This helps for a better experience, and increases the likelihood for a 2nd date.  A little imagination goes a long way…

Oh, and you do know that the 2nd date is REALLY where ‘it’ starts.  The first date is often a performance, by you and her…so, don’t take anything that happens too seriously.

Stephen Nash

PS - My “One Good Dating Tip” series is filled with short, sweet and to the point articles focused on ONE important question about dating.  Want more? Go here:

One Good Dating Tip series