Whether you choose to be yourself, exert your true beliefs and feelings, and not care about how this male controlled society views you is the key. You have to be strong inside yourself. Confidence and lack of need for validation is so sexy to women. So is mystery, intrigue, a slow buildup to an emotional climax. You can be oh so vulnerable and emotional, yet still come across with your best foot forward. I am entirely in touch with and compelled by my own self-knowledge and it stretches to knowing the opposite sex as well.

I have yet to truly read/heard any decent advice by a guy to other guys. If anything I will take a female’s belief system and fundamental feminist ideals over anything a man is going to spew in the way of treatment of women.

I myself have always been different. I don’t cater to nor care about how other guys see me. I don’t care nor desire to care to measure up to some misguided ‘typical male’ macho sexist egotistical notion of seeing women as objects and having a predictable self defeating primary goal in life to have sex. The double standards in this and everything else in society are magnified because everyone seems to accept and glamorize it when guys womanize, when they have no morals, when they mistreat and degrade women. When they exert their so called male dominance and bring women down just to stroke their own egos and cover up their own insecurities and inadequacies.

This is speaking to other guys here- Stop blaming women for your troubles, take responsibility! You are at fault, not any of the women who have rejected you. If you think about all the asenine, selfish, misguided, barren of empathy and emotion, words and actions you used with the women you were trying oh so hard to impress… tthen you might come to the realization that YOU would reject yourself too. Stop making the same mistakes over and over and own up to things. It is all inside of you.

Just watch tv and you will always find a program where you see women attacked, made fun of, objectified, portrayed in a negative light. But what do guys get? As long as they come across as the typical fool, they appear ‘cool’ to other guys and even to some women. You find that on tv, on the net, in the real world, everywhere.

If you don’t have it inside of you already to respect, appreciate, and hold women as equals, and as the amazing intellectual, emotional, passionate,desirable, talented beings they are, then no book and no teacher is going to help you change into a man who does.

I love women period. I love them for everything they have inside of them. Yes I can appreciate the physical, but strangely enough I am always more attrcated to women on an emotional level. The little things about them that other guys are so clueless about can never see or pick up, but I do. Because they are visually oriented, and I ‘m not. In fact most of my feelings and emotions are very similar to that of females’. I need there to be that emotional connection or I can’t even get to the physical part. I have always been different and guys have treated me like crap, questioned my sexuality, and attacked me for similar things they attack women for.

I identify, relate, and wholeheartedly hold a ton of empathy for women’s plight in society. The same issues that continue to plague them because of a male dominated society that degrades, objectifies, attacks, holds back, and trivializes female importance. I for one am not part of those problems. I make it my business to be part of the solution. And I am very proud to call myself a male feminist. And I I try to spread my beliefs around to as many as possible to get others to truly feel what they couldn’t conceive of before.

It’s not just about getting yourself a better facade/mask/game so women will like you. It’s about showing them that you get it. Through your actions. And that you are authentic, genuine, and that your emotions overshadow the same boring predictable selfish egotistical controlling male pretzel logic that makes most guys appear as the jackasses they trul;y are within a few minutes of spending time with a woman. It doesn’t take a female long to read you. And I’m the same way, I am led by my feelings, and go with them on everything. I read people and situations extremely well and possess more than enough empathy to truly understand/feel what females do. That’s why I never needed to read any books, or use any gimmicks to help me.

I have the rarest personality type in the world btw, which is INFJ and that is why I am this way for the most part. If you are into jung psychology, read about that personality type and you will see the natural insight it gives me into women and that I am actualyl very close to clairvoyant on many levels.

I just ammyself, and if they don’t like me, too bad. But most women appreciate me as a person and if it goes further, cool. I make them live up to my standards just as they do to me. I am picky and do not settle for trapppings of good looks as I said before. I am more than capable of playing my male role, but at the same time I never get in the way of them playing an equally as meaningful female role and the important part is that the less you try to control them and every situation, the better things will be. It is unhealthy if either person is controlling, dominating, degrading, abusive, etc.

And guess what- all the same loser guys that are clueless with women, they won’t ever learn. It isn’t inside of them to be any different, and sometimes girls make the wrong decisions and end up with those same losers. You can’t argue with the essence of emotional attraction and that is why no matter what a woman says on a logical level about what she wants, or about not being happy with a guy she is with for obvious reasons, the emotional part says otherwise.

The more guys embrace their femininity, their emotions, and stop caring about how other guys or society views them, the better they will get with finding the right woman. And my ultimate goal has always been fall in love with one girl. A monogomous relationship. I don’t watch nor need porn, ever. It portrays women as objects as Lisa said. And why would I want to watch a fake display of dirty physically oriented sex. I want my sex to be real, engulfed in true love, passionate, and emotional.

I don’t fantasize about sex. I fantasize about an emotional connection with a girl who can give me evertyhing that will complete me and share her love. While I do the same for her. I have no desire to sleep with anyone until I am in love. I don’t care how I am viewed, I know what I want, what’s right for me, and generally what women want and what’s right for them. And I feel just like they do on so many things. It gives me that inside advantage and it really could help other guys if they just embraced what’s inside , instead of trying so hard to fight their so called vulnerabilities with their misguided clueless male trappings.

Vulnerability, emotions, feeling, love, passion, energy, desire, sincerity, loyalty… are just some of what fills my heart and what I am looking for in the heart of the right girl for me.

-sean-

Whether you choose to be yourself, exert your true beliefs and feelings, and not care about how this male controlled society views you is the key. You have to be strong inside yourself. Confidence and lack of need for validation is so sexy to women. So is mystery, intrigue, a slow buildup to an emotional climax. You can be oh so vulnerable and emotional, yet still come across with your best foot forward. I am entirely in touch with and compelled by my own self-knowledge and it stretches to knowing the opposite sex as well.

I have yet to truly read/heard any decent advice by a guy to other guys. If anything I will take a female’s belief system and fundamental feminist ideals over anything a man is going to spew in the way of treatment of women.

I myself have always been different. I don’t cater to nor care about how other guys see me. I don’t care nor desire to care to measure up to some misguided ‘typical male’ macho sexist egotistical notion of seeing women as objects and having a predictable self defeating primary goal in life to have sex. The double standards in this and everything else in society are magnified because everyone seems to accept and glamorize it when guys womanize, when they have no morals, when they mistreat and degrade women. When they exert their so called male dominance and bring women down just to stroke their own egos and cover up their own insecurities and inadequacies.

This is speaking to other guys here- Stop blaming women for your troubles, take responsibility! You are at fault, not any of the women who have rejected you. If you think about all the asenine, selfish, misguided, barren of empathy and emotion, words and actions you used with the women you were trying oh so hard to impress… tthen you might come to the realization that YOU would reject yourself too. Stop making the same mistakes over and over and own up to things. It is all inside of you.

Just watch tv and you will always find a program where you see women attacked, made fun of, objectified, portrayed in a negative light. But what do guys get? As long as they come across as the typical fool, they appear ‘cool’ to other guys and even to some women. You find that on tv, on the net, in the real world, everywhere.

If you don’t have it inside of you already to respect, appreciate, and hold women as equals, and as the amazing intellectual, emotional, passionate,desirable, talented beings they are, then no book and no teacher is going to help you change into a man who does.

I love women period. I love them for everything they have inside of them. Yes I can appreciate the physical, but strangely enough I am always more attrcated to women on an emotional level. The little things about them that other guys are so clueless about can never see or pick up, but I do. Because they are visually oriented, and I ‘m not. In fact most of my feelings and emotions are very similar to that of females’. I need there to be that emotional connection or I can’t even get to the physical part. I have always been different and guys have treated me like crap, questioned my sexuality, and attacked me for similar things they attack women for.

I identify, relate, and wholeheartedly hold a ton of empathy for women’s plight in society. The same issues that continue to plague them because of a male dominated society that degrades, objectifies, attacks, holds back, and trivializes female importance. I for one am not part of those problems. I make it my business to be part of the solution. And I am very proud to call myself a male feminist. And I I try to spread my beliefs around to as many as possible to get others to truly feel what they couldn’t conceive of before.

It’s not just about getting yourself a better facade/mask/game so women will like you. It’s about showing them that you get it. Through your actions. And that you are authentic, genuine, and that your emotions overshadow the same boring predictable selfish egotistical controlling male pretzel logic that makes most guys appear as the jackasses they trul;y are within a few minutes of spending time with a woman. It doesn’t take a female long to read you. And I’m the same way, I am led by my feelings, and go with them on everything. I read people and situations extremely well and possess more than enough empathy to truly understand/feel what females do. That’s why I never needed to read any books, or use any gimmicks to help me.

I have the rarest personality type in the world btw, which is INFJ and that is why I am this way for the most part. If you are into jung psychology, read about that personality type and you will see the natural insight it gives me into women and that I am actualyl very close to clairvoyant on many levels.

I just ammyself, and if they don’t like me, too bad. But most women appreciate me as a person and if it goes further, cool. I make them live up to my standards just as they do to me. I am picky and do not settle for trapppings of good looks as I said before. I am more than capable of playing my male role, but at the same time I never get in the way of them playing an equally as meaningful female role and the important part is that the less you try to control them and every situation, the better things will be. It is unhealthy if either person is controlling, dominating, degrading, abusive, etc.

And guess what- all the same loser guys that are clueless with women, they won’t ever learn. It isn’t inside of them to be any different, and sometimes girls make the wrong decisions and end up with those same losers. You can’t argue with the essence of emotional attraction and that is why no matter what a woman says on a logical level about what she wants, or about not being happy with a guy she is with for obvious reasons, the emotional part says otherwise.

The more guys embrace their femininity, their emotions, and stop caring about how other guys or society views them, the better they will get with finding the right woman. And my ultimate goal has always been fall in love with one girl. A monogomous relationship. I don’t watch nor need porn, ever. It portrays women as objects as Lisa said. And why would I want to watch a fake display of dirty physically oriented sex. I want my sex to be real, engulfed in true love, passionate, and emotional.

I don’t fantasize about sex. I fantasize about an emotional connection with a girl who can give me evertyhing that will complete me and share her love. While I do the same for her. I have no desire to sleep with anyone until I am in love. I don’t care how I am viewed, I know what I want, what’s right for me, and generally what women want and what’s right for them. And I feel just like they do on so many things. It gives me that inside advantage and it really could help other guys if they just embraced what’s inside , instead of trying so hard to fight their so called vulnerabilities with their misguided clueless male trappings.

Vulnerability, emotions, feeling, love, passion, energy, desire, sincerity, loyalty… are just some of what fills my heart and what I am looking for in the heart of the right girl for me.

-sean-

It seems counterproductive to say that men should stop objectifying women in one breath and then normalize porn use in another. I realize you’re saying too much porn isn’t good, but porn IS objectification of women in the purist sense. It also objectifies men, taking their basic Pavlovian response to sexual stimulation and perverting it for profit.

No porn is good porn if we’re trying to end the objectification of either sex and bring the sexes into a better balance.

Your words are like the wise MASTERMAN* to the young men he mentors (The practice here is to save this energy, and start the slow, arduous, meaningful process of building a life on the bedrock of security, autonomy and integrity.)

Napoleon Hill called this sexual transmutation.

I coined the term LOVEMATISM http://lovematism.com
Within the bond of lovematism, when the four aspects of each lover are coupled together, there is tremendous power and energy. It converges and transmutes unto itself and regenerates.

Sex is a primal urge. To ask a boy to be conscious before he is mature is probably futile.

Michael wrote in his comment, “the true measure of a man is how women respond to him.” Fortunately, this is NOT true.
A MASTERMAN is true to himself first and his measure is in his own self-worth. (defintion: *Masterman – http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=masterman

I totally agree here, Stephen: “The removal of this objectification will also allow men to have actual standards of behavior and integrity from women… The only way that issue can be challenged is that we must stop unhealthily revering her beauty to the detriment of our own values and standards. And the only way to realize the power to uphold these values and standards is to stop SPENDING it on her outsides, her external beauty. Power is like currency, and men too often invest in the wind. My challenge to you is to first invest in yourself…for the long-term.”

Keep up the great work, Stephen.

Sherrie Rose
“The Love Linguist”

P.S. Love the Burning Man pic with this post. All the boys objectify women when they watch the CT Parade on Friday, the day before the burn…

Getting to the comments I wrote earlier, I found myself thinking of the following question this morning:

What makes me cool?

This is a question that I think that most every guy asks himself, right?

Honestly, it takes some work for me to realize that it is NOT really about the women in (or not in) my life. We are conditioned to feel that it is about the women in our life. This comes not just from ‘The Community’ but also from society in general: ‘Wow, I thought that guy was a schmuck, but look at his girlfriend–he must have something going on, right?’

Again Stephen i’m with you. Good job Keep it up!