I’m glad you used the less inflammatory title language for this article; most guys have such forceful language in their marketing so the softer language is pretty refreshing. While it does feel a little like this article is saying that this is the ONLY way to meet quality women, you have left a little room for dating to coexist.
When it comes down to it, if a guy wants a lifestyle filled with women and genuinely enjoys hanging out with women in an asexual way, learning how to use that lifestyle to find a girlfriend can be very valuable. And there are probably a lot of guys who are interested in that. But it’s certainly not the only way, and I just want to let guys for whom that lifestyle doesn’t seem that appealing know it’s okay to not want that. I wouldn’t have bothered taking the time to comment otherwise.

Too many guys in the community are about trying to get guys to live lifestyles that work for them rather than teaching them how to live a life they want to live.

And Hammer, I would suggest that if you don’t like women enough to hang around them that often, then you probably don’t like them enough to spend a ton of time hanging out with one of them (ie: a girlfriend) and therefore you’re right, you should just keep doin’ your thing and not attempt a long-term monogamous relationship if that’s not what you’re looking for.

For those of us who want one, there’s something awesome about knowing that your friendship with your lady can survive all kinds of shit BECAUSE IT ALREADY HAS rather than thinking that it theoretically will.

That, to me is the difference between dating a girl that I’ve known for years and picking a girl up at a coffee shop or whatever. The friend and I have been through shit together, and we KNOW each other. Warts and all.

By necessity, social circle game means that whatever relationship you’re in has already survived the trial by fire: you’ve gotten drunk together, dog-sitted for each other, went on a float trip where you got pissed at each other because someone forgot to bring the sleeping bags, etc.

Cassandra – I’m all for massage therapy skills, as a way to connect sensually. Most guys will read what you wrote and think “massage=sex”, whereas I think it’s more about “massage=strong connection/trust=sex”. Don’t you?

Hammer – thanks for the contrary view man, and all are welcome here. My position though is honed through years of experience. Think of it this way – grow the social circle intelligently, consciously…it’s an artform, and it’s not haphazard. It’s a high level of social interaction, where you can attract the right sorts of women via your social circle. The circle is always shifting, changing, growing, etc – it’s never static. Also, women then are viewed as friends first, which surprisingly reverts the power back to 50/50. In the PU game, the women have most – if not all of – the power…turning most of guys into chasing, dancing monkeys. Don’t do that.

Social, natural ‘game’ allows guys to attract very high calibre women and gain a high level of trust too. These are the types of women who would never go for ‘game’, in fact, they are repelled by it. Interestingly, they are the best suited for LONG-term relationships (a year or longer minimum).

I salute you though for your relationships…and I hope that continues for you.

Erika – ‘organic’ a great word to describe this. I’m also not a fan of online dating (perhaps Hammer can talk about his experiences online?). Passions always seem to bring people together – the right sorts of people, that is…thanks, as always, for posting.

Sn.

I think that most people pretty much don’t date outside of their social circles, but as a result most people are unhappy in their relationships and marraiges. That’s why you have a 50+% divorce rate and don’t even start with the married couples that stay together.

Anyone with a healthy amount of dating experience probably doesn’t need a filter for the women he meets because he is probably very good at reading and qualifying women earlier in the process. It’s probably easier to get a girlfriend through social circles, but I don’t think that people who are entering the community are looking for easy. They are looking for top tier.

Top tier for some guys may come from their social circle, especially if you’re in theater or photography or something like that, but I just can’t imagine that most guys desire to have the type of social circle that one would think of as ideal for farming a girlfriend (unless he’s gay). As someone who has a lot of women coming in and out of my life all of the time, I can say with certainty that as much as I love women in an emotional and sexual context, I don’t enjoy hanging out with 99.9% of them enough to jam pack my social circle with women.

Maybe I’m unique in this, but my idea of an ideal social circle is 2-4 guy friends who I’m really close with and would do anything for, then a second tier of maybe 10-20 people, probably mostly made up of guys, who I maybe talk with once a week and maybe hang out with once a month, and a third tier of people who are acquaintences that I’ll maybe talk with once a month and get together with once or twice a year.

Lately I’ve been actively looking for women to add women to the second tier of my social circle, but most of the women I’ve found up to this point are kind of placeholders to potentially bring more women in (i.e. I don’t really enjoy talking to them that much). Maybe it’s my personality, maybe it’s the women I’m meeting, but a social circle full of women just doesn’t seem that appealing to me.