Cameron Teone: Pros & Cons of the Seduction Community - Part I

As you certainly know by now, Cameron Teone is a close friend of mine. I recently crashed at his home in Hollywood during a seminar, and it was great to hang with him. I asked him if I could post a few articles of his here, so that more people can be exposed to his experience and wise thinking (or is it wise-ass?).

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Pros and Cons of the Seduction Community

Let’s talk about the polarizing opposites of dating advice. Occasionally, I stick my head in various “Self-help” forums just to get an idea of what sort of advice is out there and repeatedly, I am horrified.

There is the quiet guy who has this girl in his social circle, and she barely knows he exists. Sometimes she talks to him, sometimes she ignores him, while he is infatuated with her, and in his mind, there is some sort of a deep relationship going on, except no one is privy to it….. (well, besides him.) He wants to know how he can make her his girlfriend, and he wants to tell her that he can no longer be around her because it’s all too much. He can’t take the ups and downs of this [nonexistent] relationship anymore! Too much drama!!

He is thinking of telling her that this relationship is driving him crazy…. Oh, what should he do?

Unqualified people who couldn’t find their asses with both hands are quick to encourage the young lad to profess his undying love and devotion to the unsuspecting stranger. (And there is no shortage of people on forums on the Internet who want to give advice on everything.)

In reality, it’s a good way for him to creep the hell out of her. And we’re not talking unwanted Amway salesman at the door creepy. We’re talking the level of “The Hills have Eyes”-being attacked by cannibalistic mutants-grade creepiness.

He’d ruin any chance he could have actually had in dating that girl at some point. There are a lot of things one can recover from, but creeping and horrifying women is a tough one. Telling a woman who barely knows you that “you’re constantly watching her and now you can’t deal with this relationship anymore” is a tiny bit frightening to the person.

On that same note, you have plenty of people who spent more time reading self-help books than they do anything else in life. If they had self-help books in the Ancient world, the great landmarks, the Pyramids, Gardens of Babylon, The Persian city of Persopolis would have never been built.

”Hey Jimmy, want to go and work on building something spectacular that will be
revered and coveted for 1000s of years to come?”

”Well, I’d like to, but got a full schedule today of productivity. I am going to
read some Deepak again, then listen to some Dyer again, and then watch
“The Secret” two times in a row. Yep, it’s a full day for me! Very busy these days!”

And it’s not that I don’t see value in Self-help advice. I do. For crying out loud, I am in the business of giving dating-advice. It’s just that self-help advice should be combined with a clear plan of taking action. Like the great philosopher Rocky Balboa once said, “Keep Moving Forward.”

Instead, there is a lot of rhetoric about regarding “Coming from a Place of Abundance” and “Accepting who you are.” All great advice but to the beginner, it’s like speaking Chinese to a German person. A complete cluster-fuck.

“What’s your point, Cameron?”

See, this is where the seduction community does help people. That’s why people find it. That’s why they take refuge it in. Back to the guy who was about to creep out the girl in his office or classroom. Now, he has something tangible he can do. Even an opinion opener that Mystery was teaching back in 2003 can help that guy get a conversation started. You can tell him, ”Hey, here is an opinion opener. Tell her that your friend and his girlfriend just broke up because of XYZ… (long distance relationship, whatever.) What do you think? Are long distance relationships doomed to fail?” [By the way, I just made that up off the top of my head a minute ago. Feel free to use it.]

Is she going to be head over heels in love with him at this point? OK, let’s be real. However, that conversational opener (Bait) gave that guy who is awkward with women or socially uncomfortable something to talk about…. It gives him a platform to operate on. More so, it provides some context to the interaction that’s not creepy or weird. It introduces normal conversational banter.

It’s not a pick up line or a magical vehicle. It’s to enable someone who is shy or nervous to be able to start socializing and have some place to start.

Now, that person has a point of reference from which he can move forward. Before that, he had no point of reference. None! Now, he has a starting point. Then he learns to be able to flirt, fix his demeanor, conversational skills, tease women, while gaining confidence and he starts experiencing more success. It all started with the ability to strike up a conversation with a person sitting next to him.

• This, in essence, is the single greatest contribution of the Seduction Community: Point of Reference!

You can tell someone, “Hey, Be Confident! Be a man! Etc, etc, etc…” but if he has no point of reference, it doesn’t do him or her any good. If you were going to learn to play guitar, you don’t ask Eddie Van Halen to do a two-minute blistering solo for you. You learn one cord, and a couple of notes…. That’s where you start…….

To hammer the point home: If you were going to learn Martial Arts or kickboxing, a good teacher would put you in front of a heavy bag and teach you how to properly a simple jab. No complex combinations… You’re not throwing jab, cross, hook, uppercut in a flurry that resembles Muhammad Ali, Joe Frazier, or Rocky Marciano.

Just a simple Jab! That’s your point of reference. You can measure your range, and can get a feel for timing from that simple jab to the punching bag.

That is the “Point of Reference” from which you begin.

There is an old saying, “Don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater.” You have to be able to recognize the useful portions of something instead of throwing it all away. This is why I am also critical of the advice of those who thrash everything in the seduction community without understanding that there are some good things in there.

So instead of providing a frame of reference, or helping men improve their social skills, they regurgitate “New Age” books about opening your heart, or they give advice that is in no way helpful to the shy/nervous beginner suffers from terrible posture and bad breath by telling him to hang out at the supermarket and ask women “How is the Tuna” and “How do you tell apart ripe Oranges?”

But then at some point, what starts as a point of reference and a vehicle for self-improvement turns into a sort of quasi-religion for some people. It consumes those people and overtakes their thoughts, and teaches a warped view of women, society and people in general.

This is the Dark Side of the Seduction-Community. It’ll make you pay. It can take a seemingly normal person and create a neurotic mess, a validation seeking sex-addict of sorts, and in extreme cases, a person who contemplates suicide. (As has been the case with two of the gurus, one who is very vocal about his attempt to kill himself.)

Welcome to the Dark side.

I’ll cover that in the 2nd part of this article. Stay tuned….

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Great stuff Cameron. On a related note, I have a friend who is in over $40K worth of debt, but yet keeps traveling to see Tony Robbins’ programs world-wide. This increases his debt. Many of the Robbins’ programs he attends are on ‘wealth-building’.

I’m a big believer in self-improvement, but I’ve found that most of the current solutions to it - Tony Robbins, “The Secret”, yoga-addiction, etc - are all ways to feel good, rather than facing the pain. It’s painful to get real, and see the truth. Most guys will never be lotharios or players, and they refuse to see that in themselves. Most guys may never really get a seriously attractive woman, and they need to accept that in themselves.

My friend, for example, is addicted to the high that he gets from these programs and the endless books he reads on these topics. The fantasy of hope, which he is in fact moving AWAY from, has become toxic for him. It is a sign of great desperation and deep, deep pain that this happens - and I see it everywhere.

Most of us won’t be millionaires, and there is nothing wrong with that. The ’success’ and ‘wealth-building’ movement are climbing on the backs of these desperate fools to get rich themselves.

It’s a scam.

Accept yourself for who you are. Find a real path and follow it. Don’t feel that you need to measure up to the cultural standards here, which in the USA are completely screwed up. I’ve found very few ‘real’ people here, and exactly zero of them buy into the desperation.

As Cameron points out, the seduction community PREYS upon desperation. It’s wrong. We should be willing to honestly look at guys and tell them the truth rather than sell them a line of goods that fill our pockets and rob them blind.

Any guy can have a meaningful, lasting relationship with a woman that he is attracted to. This is indeed possible. But, that might be it frankly. I’ve seen a lot of guys who spend hours of their time and wads of their money chasing a dream that society preaches, and that WE know is not possible.

Each ‘new’ seminar/workshop must be viewed with a cocked-eye as most (if not all) are simply trying to leech off of other people’s success and regurgitate ideas that weren’t theirs to begin with. Some are original (Christian Hudson, for example - a guy that I know has a lot to offer here in New York), but most are not.

The internet feeds off of irresponsible people - so, beware out there. When considering someone, do your due diligence and make an intelligent decision. But, don’t fall for the ‘hype’ that you’ll become something you aren’t.

The most we can hope for is to become more ‘real’ and less shrouded in negativity. This is more attractive, and being more ‘real’ attracts the right women.

One final comment, and I’ll close my ranting mouth. Becoming ‘real’ is a process, and must be coordinated by someone who’s been down that road. Beware of hot shots.

Cameron…thanks for the article. Looking forward to Part II next week.

Comments? Please add them. We’ve opened a can of worms here…so bring them on!

Sn.