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I am commenting on this again, 14 months later, with a different perspective… The challenge with meeting someone via a Cold Approach is that you are being judged (and are judging) on shallow issues–things that ultimately aren’t that important once you are in a relationship.

Text game. Phone game. Logistics. Call vs text vs email. Can you flirt successfully with someone you barely know and who might not be that into you yet. And I’m not knocking the girl–what else does she really have to go by with you?

And the flake-out/write-off factor is high. Say or do one stupid thing and it’s usually game over with that particular woman. You could have been perfect for each other, but she isn’t calling you back because you rambled on in your message or you called her the next morning instead of waiting 24 hours or you waited too long to call her or whatever.

When we see someone over and over again via social circle, we are judged on things that are relevant to a relationship. Things such as someone’s real personality, how others view him, any special talents, and so on. An initial weak impression can be overcome, if only because you’re going to see each other again regardless. A guy might not be a great dresser but everyone seems to respect his opinion. Or he might be shy and has led a really interesting life and that didn’t come out until later. Or a guy might be gruff and uncommunicative at first but underneath he is a very sweet and caring person. So it is much easier to make a relationship on something ‘real’.

Thanks for the hints, I’ve had the most success cold approaching in targeted environments. These would include concerts, festivals, art openings,museum events and even designer clothing stores, clubs with certain theme nights that I’m into, and bookstores.

Here I stack the odds of meeting women who have similar interests as I do versus going to a generic night club or bar and just opening sets.

I would call this targeted game. I guess it still involves initiating and approaching.

A suggestion I have is perhaps an article on finding niche venues. Do you think a balance of approaching and social network building is the ultimate combo??

At a party, I think the teaser opener works really well. Or, simply meet others in her peer group – then you’ll be intro’d, which is an automatic open.

Sn.

What about cold approaches in the context of events or parties. I have known many couples who met at events ranging from charity parties, exhibits, art openinge, concerts, sporting events etc..

These are situations where you can walk in and not know anyone. So if you see a woman you want to talk to you can approach her, but she knows you are not there to pick up and that you have an interest in the event or place. Hence when you get the phone number it can go a long way.

Another scenario is frequenting the same store,restraunt or even bar. You can build rapport with the waitresses or staff and they can even become part of your social circle or you can even end up dating them. There is also social circle building when going to clubs(same people,staff go there over and over again).

So a question I have for you is if going to events and frequenting the same places and meeting woment that way constitutes “cold game” or “warm game”? I would call it a mix of both.

Stephen.

Yeah that makes sense. I don’t really use routines (apart from 2 or 3) but the way points are always the same and like after a night out I can barely remember their names after… It always feels like the same interaction to me. When its social circle meeting them feels different, I remember who they are after and remember what they said to me. In saying that I am not looking for a proper girlfriend right now either. Love this site though.

Oh, and how do we get avatars up there?

Alfredo – one point I make a lot around here is that it is important for a guy to learn how to approach a woman. It accomplishes a LOT:

1) It’s a rites of passage…every guy should do it (and even better if you’re capable at it)
2) It’s a great way to practice social skills
3) You MIGHT meet a cool girl

My only message here is that in order to get good at pick-up, it takes YEARS of practice and work (depending upon how far behind you are from the rest of the guys out there).

So, if you’re looking for real-world success with women and dating, why not get good at the 90+% game? It’s MUCH easier and more efficient.

Most women don’t really want to meet guys in a bar/club or other “pick-up” environment. And, even if she did, she’s not interested in a guy using some canned routine nonsense to get her.

No, instead, they want it to feel natural, as if it were “fated”. Can you imagine a cool, smart, intelligent, beautiful woman going home to mommy and saying “yeah, this GREAT guy watched “the pick-up artist” and sarged me at a bar mommy! I fell for him right away. Isn’t he great!”

Of course that is not the case…

So, my proposal is for you to focus primarily on the 90+% game, while still doing cold approaches for the 3 reasons above (IN THAT ORDER).

This is an unshakable foundation for an awesome social life…

Sn.

Maybe i need to change my lifestyle, because right now I’m feel really stagnated and frustrated.