Barry & Stefan: Who Would Win in a Fight?

Whoever wins the fight continues on (kind of like street fighter):

Battle 1 – Jesus vs. Mr. T

This is a tough call. First, everybody knows about Jesus’ lightning power. If you don’t know, I will tell you:

Jesus has the ability to shoot blue lightning out of his eyes. This is similar to the famous star trek emperor lightning. However, because it is imbued with the power of god (because he is god’s son), the lightning has a lot more devastating effects (such as third degree burns, AIDS and flesh eating diseases).

That being said, you would think there isn’t any limit to what he can do with the power of god, right? But he isn’t actually god (just his son), so we might assume that his earthly limitations have limited his destructive powers.

Let’s get back to the fight.

We all know Mr. T is about as badass as anyone can get, so this would be a close match. In the end, I would definitely say Jesus would take him down by punching the ground to cause the earth to split in Mr. T’s direction. Mr. T would end up falling into oblivion (but still “could” return one day for a sequel).

Winner: Jesus.

Battle 2 – Jesus vs. Six Tractors

This fight would take place immediately after the Mr. T. battle. Those are the rules buddy, sorry. But all things considered, I think he would have enough lightning power in the reserve tank to take out at least five tractors, leaving one left to take out by fist.

I heard Jesus trained quite extensively with mixed martial arts as a teen, so I think one tractor would be doable.

In my head, he would jump 30 feet in the air and gather up gravity energy slowly (he would be suspended for a few seconds while it charges). As the tractor approaches, he would unleash the gravity energy and smash down on the front of the tractor and bury it into the ground.

Winner: Jesus

Battle 3 – Power Depleted Jesus vs. One Hippopotamus and Gunwitch

Will Christ prevail? The answer is likely: no, he will not.

In the last fight, you missed the part where the fourth tractor smashed into his knee. Now with a badly sprained knee, plus depleted powers, he is in for the fight of his life.

Hippos are possibly the most aggressive animals in the world, so couple that with an angry Gunwitch, and you have one of the deadliest Jesus killing forces out there.

As I picture it, the Hippo will charge full speed, while Gunwitch stalks unseen from the surrounding trees holding a drawn compound hunting bow and arrow. Jesus would narrowly dodge the Hippo’s first charge, and with just enough strength left to deflect an arrow with his staff.

Here is the problem though: Gunwitch only needs 1.5 seconds to draw AND release another arrow. So while the Hippo begins to swing around for another charge, Gunwitch narrowly misses Jesus’ head and puts one the arrow solidly in his shoulder. While trying to recover from the stun of having an arrow in his shoulder, the Hippo has now had enough time to complete the charge and ram him 50 feet in the air and into the water.

Winners: Hippopotamus / Gunwitch

Wow. That was an interesting set of battles.

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