8 Questions to Master Your Look

What is your Look?

How do you think people see you, when they first meet you?

What is your first impression?

Do You Even KNOW?

If not…you’ll want to seriously consider what I am about to cover with you. Don’t you think you deserve to make a strong first impression? I think you do. Read on.

I was just outside, coming back from lunch this afternoon. I made a few mental notes about the various first impressions I noticed from the sidewalk.

- First, a homeless person - so that’s a clear and very extreme first impression.

- Now we have a lovely attractive young woman without a jacket on a day when you might wear a jacket, because it’s somewhat chilly, and a Burberry scarf, pearl earrings, hair pulled back. She’s very elegant, very pretty.

- And then there’s a gentleman standing by the ATM, whose suit makes him appear to be a security guard (which he isn’t btw). His clothing doesn’t quite fit, just a little too big. His shoes are not quite polished. He has a fairly bland look, with a balding head, pounding away at his Blackberry.

(As an exercise: you might look around you and just see how it is that you respond to people based on how they are dressed…interesting, eh?)

One certainly sees everything here in New York, soup to nuts. From clear, specific, interesting personal style, as I may have described with that young lady. Everything working together - her outfit was well put together, she looks smart and elegant. Also, it worked for her body, it worked for her image.

And then the blue-suited gentleman here who frankly just fades away. There’s nothing directly interesting about how he looks, therefore I won’t remember him in five minutes time.

So, what we at CEIC like to do, and in particular when I meet with guys, is I make an instant analysis of my first impression of them. And we dive into that A LOT - we’ll talk about fashion and style; we’ll talk about what their body language communicates about them; what it is that their “vibe” is. All of these things have an impact on how it is that I feel a guy should present himself.

So the first principle I want to outline to you here, is the difference between being Physically attractive and Genetically attractive. There is a difference, and in the dating game, it is a HUGE difference.

Typically, guys who struggle with women are not Physically attractive MEANING that the things that are well within their control:

- their fashion and style sense
- how it is they choose to live their life (their lifestyle, and how it is that that impacts their vibe)
- how it is that they might choose to wear their hair
- their shoes
- etc…

All the things that are within their control - things that you can do TODAY to deal with that – are not handled, or are handled VERY poorly.

Typically, these guys struggle with women…sound familiar?

(Herein lies the global issue of autonomy, which I’ve talked about before on this blog and in podcasts too…VERY important)

There’s a difference between being genetically attractive and physically attractive. Genetically attractive person might be Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise or George Clooney, or any of these celebrities that we typically think of when we think of good-looking handsome men.

You know, genetics is something that we can’t necessarily control, at all. I mean, in this day and age, typically here in New York City on the East Side, as I look around I see many people trying to control their genetics with various surgical applications… but we won’t get into that!

Now, being physically attractive is something well within your control.

You CAN look your best.

You CAN make a good first impression.

You CAN take time out of your life to focus on fashion and style, and your look, and cultivate an image that will maximize how it is that you appear to people.

Now, our work is HARDLY about looking good and feeling terrible. Our work at CEIC is primarily about looking good and feeling great, so that what it is and how you are in front of people - your first impression and your lasting impression ring true to a guy who’s autonomous, happy, and fulfilled.

If you want great relationships with quality women, what we feel is that you’ve got to get your life in order. And one thing you can do is think outside of this box and build a look that works for you.

So, if your image is that of an average guy, this encourages you to fade away, never standing out. Now I’m not talking about showing up to work in an outrageous costume every day! But what I am talking about is finding an image that works for you, and that helps you to be seen.

So ask yourself these three questions when you’re building your look and enhancing your image…ready?

No. 1: Does it help me feel more powerful and confident?

No. 2: Will it help me achieve the aims I strive for in life?

No. 3: Does it work for my body type and personality?

Take those three questions with you as you begin to cultivate and design for yourself an image. So you might consider a certain garment, jacket, pants…

Let’s use an obvious example - If you have an office type of job, and you want to dress better at the workplace, diving into the jeans rack at the Gap might not be a wise choice. What I would suggest, in that case, is going to a good men’s store, perhaps not something that’s overpriced - here in New York we have Zara, which is great for men, particularly of my size, who are fairly thin and tall - they have great pants there.

Every major city typically has exceptional stores for clothing, mid-range stores for clothing, and then the average stores for clothing. I would stay away from the average stores, and shoot for the middle rack. You know, you’re not going to go to Saks Fifth Avenue, here in New York, if you’re not loaded with green. But you might go to Macy’s, or Zara, or you might go to good, intelligent thrift stores like Housing Works, where they often have hand-me-down’s worn by people who have great taste in clothing.

I recently found a $40 pair of Boss slacks at a thrift store which fit me perfectly that are a huge steal. They would easily retail for four or five-hundred dollars!

So, you have to think outside the box.

Here’s a couple of websites: Bluefly.com and Yoox.com, where you can buy contemporary clothing that is suited, hopefully, to your body type and color scheme, which you have to consider.

Also, here’s an exercise, and I want you to ask yourself these questions - write them down. Reread this tonight or tomorrow if you need to, and then write down the answers. And from those answers begin to try to conceptualize for yourself a new look, or at least the next step in a new look.

You’re going to be asked here to become your own image consultant because you’re not here in front of me and I obviously can not work with you directly, but I can give you something to think about.

There are eight of them…here goes:

No. 1: Go to a mirror and notice your body language. And ask yourself what does it communicate? You might even involve a friend. It could be male or female - if it’s a guy that you like to go out with, fine; if you have a female friend, fine. Ask them to help you here, because you might not be the best judge.

No. 2: What body type are you? Thin, medium build, muscular, or are you overweight? Try to keep this answer simple.

No. 3: Thumb through a men’s magazine, and ask yourself which fashion ads grab your attention and why? What about the look of the men in the picture grabs your attention? This is important in order to see what stimulates your imagination. What it is that you might begin to feel great wearing?

No. 4: Imagine a scenario where you are successful in the workplace or in your career. And ask yourself what is it that you are wearing in that image? How is your posture, what is your vibe? Are you confident and assured? Are you meek and timid? Be honest with yourself and write this down.

No. 5: Imagine a scenario where you are going out on the town with the woman of your dreams. You’re arm in arm, headed to a concert perhaps, or a show. You are both very comfortable and happy with each other. What are you wearing, how is your posture, what is your vibe? Again, is it confident and assured, meek and timid? Something else/something in-between? Write it down.

No. 6: Use your imagination to determine what type of look you picture yourself in. Is it casual? Dressed up in suits? Is it preppy? Dressed down perhaps in the latest street-wear? Consider your day-to-day life, and what image you need to project to fulfill your aims. See yourself successfully achieving these goals and notice the look you embody. That one is HUGE. If you have any impressions or images of yourself as you read this, I would encourage you to examine those and look into them and see how far you can take that.

No. 7: Consider the roles that you play daily that impact your style. Are you an executive, student, a DJ? These are common sense. If you’re stuck, think of someone whose clothes you like, someone that you think dresses stylishly and conveys the right things with their look. At the same time look at yourself and be honest. Will this work for you?

You know, I personally love the way Mick Jagger dresses, but I can’t imagine myself wearing his clothing out in my daily life. That just wouldn’t be intelligent, so you’ve got to be smart here. That’s obviously an extreme example, but I think it communicates a point.

And then lastly…

No. 8: Who do you look like? Ask yourself; do you look like Mick Jagger? Do you look like Tom Cruise? Do you look like a friend of yours? Do you have a similar body type as he? Does your hair kind of mirror each other’s in some way? Take a look at that. Examine that. See what looks good on those body types, and then maybe adapt that to your own look.

A friend of mine was recently approached by someone who said that he looked like Pierce Brosnan. This guy kept getting people coming up to him saying ‘You look like Pierce Brosnan… You remind me of Pierce Brosnan’. So, what did he do? He looked at photographs of Pierce Brosnan, and didn’t exactly mirror his style necessarily, but did take on certain looks that he wore, even in Bond films, but certainly publicity photos of him coming in and out of theatres.

He took on some of his looks, which looked GREAT.

In the CEIC Natural Attraction Program, our audio product, we have probably five exercises like this. This is just one of the five where we go through a step by step process of you working with us in developing a look and a style that actually works for you, in your environment, for your vibe and for your body type.

We take you through precise steps that you can take which will lead you to a more empowering, attractive look.

Again, we can’t control genetics necessarily, but what we can control is how we appear physically to the world based on the choices that we make. And my goal working with you is to help you make choices that are empowering, and that lead you in the direction that you really want your life to go…

Does that interest you?

Everything can help us if we pay attention to it, and if we devote ourselves to being intelligent about it. The Natural Attraction product is designed to empower you in each and every area of your life.

Every disk and skill that we cover is about empowering you socially, physically, and internally. We cover every social skill known to man, while also coaching you to develop a lifestyle, and pursuing a life that brings you happiness in every area…and also most importantly, with women and dating.

So that you can find all at our website by clicking on this link:

Natural Attraction Audio Program

You’ll be hearing from me soon…

SN.