Skill #10: Be a Leader

Take Charge, Become The Leader

The last of the 10 Essential Skills worth learning from “The Game” (and now, fully provided for here by CEIC) is becoming a leader. Throughout these 10 lessons, leadership is a hidden quality that is necessary to reach the higher levels of social success.

Leadership is first evident in how YOU choose to live. If you are able to LEAD your own life (aka: autonomously), this will directly translate into leadership skills with women, socially, at work, etc. You must know that inner quality of knowing your own purpose and direction, and focusing direct action towards that result. Without an understanding of that, not even Tony Robbins can help you…

Autonomy is a well-covered topic over here, and if you are reading this and have no idea what I am talking about, be sure to peruse the CEIC archive and read more. Or, just grab yourself a copy of How To Get A Girlfriend.

What I want to talk about here though, is how to become a leader socially – which is critical, since meeting women 99% of the time happens thru your social circle. Being a leader socially immediately puts you in a position of power. Here’s how…

If you really want to expand your social circle (and therefore meet new people…new *women*), you will have to take the lead and make it happen. Your friends may or may not be interested in meeting new people. Your friends may or may not be interested on growing out of their small comfort zone. That is why it is so important for you to be willing to go out alone – particularly if it is something you really want to see, or experience.

One way to lead is to organize events and activities. I used to have a loft in Brooklyn, and would throw monthly parties as a way to expand my social circle. After every party, I would have new numbers of women that I eventually dated or invited to the next party. Had I not taken the lead, and gone through the effort of making the event happen, I would have never met these women. Also, I made countless new friends in the process. Another fringe benefit to throwing parties is that when you are out meeting new people in other environments, you have an automatic way of keeping in touch with them – “Hey, I am throwing a party next month, give me your email address and I will send you an invite”. All of these new people show up to your party, and now you are on your home turf, meeting new people. Everyone wants to meet you because it is your party!

I understand that you may not have the space to throw a party, but most people are able to throw dinner parties, right? Here is an idea – throw a dinner party, and ask each friend to bring someone completely new who will not know the other people there. I used to do this a lot, and it always makes for an exciting evening. Also, develop a theme around the dinner. I remember one dinner party I threw was based on a Mediterranean theme, and another was an evening with different “stews” from around the world. Use your imagination and have fun with it. Again, this is a great way to meet new people. Feel free to confide in your female friends that they are more than welcome to bring their single friends along…

Lastly, if you are totally out of ideas, throw a party in another person’s space. Ask your friends, who happen to have the killer house in the center of town, if they would mind if you threw a dinner party at their house. You will manage the invites, the décor, and the clean-up, while everyone invited will bring a dish to the night. All they have to do is get dressed and have a good time. If the party is going to be big, get some friends to help you out. The basic rule of thumb is to have one person helping you for every ten guests. So, if you can only find three other friends to help you with the party, be sure to have no more than thirty people attend…this is supposed to be fun, right?

Ultimately, you can simply become the “go-to” guy for what’s happening. I regularly get people together – from all corners of my life – and head out to do something fun/new/interesting/cool here in New York City. I simply send an email, and let everyone know what “we’re” doing. I will typically get around 20% of people who are available and interested. These friends very often ask if they can bring someone, which I of course encourage. My girlfriend and I often go out on the weekends with a group of around 10 friends in tow. It is always more fun with others, and it is a great way to meet new people.

If you use your imagination, and take the lead, there is no way you can be stopped from expanding your social circle.

So, that’s 10 of 10 friends…I sure hope you got something positive and helpful from this series. If you really want a final answer to all of your dating and women woes, check out the CEIC audio program Natural Attraction. In it, you receive 7 disks and a workbook complete with EVERYTHING you need to know from meeting more women, to flirting, storytelling, escalating, teasing, endless dating advice (where to go, why, what to do, what NOT to do), fashion advice etc. Also, each disk contains exercises designed to quickly and effortlessly teach you the skill in question. This is the only product you need to give you the maximum edge in dating, and in life. Feel free to read more about it by clicking here.

Also, feel free to shoot me a line with any questions, and if you don’t mind it being broadcast to the world, type the world “mailbag” in the subject line.

Happy Holidays!

Stephen Nash.

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