The Natural Art of the Pick-up

Some Thoughts on Autonomy

For those of you who don’t know – autonomy is a big part of being attractive to women. This is a life long process of discovery and mastery, one that I cover in great detail in my programs, one-on-one consultations, ebook How To Get A Girlfriend, and Natural Attraction Audio Program.

There is a fine group of young guys here in NYC who are devoted to helping each other with their various and sundry challenges with women – if you’re interested in knowing more about them, click here. Nonetheless, below is a post I made some time ago around this idea of using gimmicks and lines to meet women…hope you find it useful:

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Wanted to clarify for the sake of discussion and would love to hear what others think about this notion of autonomy or real value.

The only question that really matters is, what do you want?

If you want to be a “pick-up artist” then devote time and energy to learning routines, gimmicks etc so that you can simulate being a cool, interesting guy. Through this process, you will learn some social skills and you might get laid a lot (might not too). Some of this depends upon how good of an actor you are, and what sort of level of man you are when you begin. Historically, guys tend to remain at the same level – or demonstrate the same vibe – when they become PUAs, or focus on learning external demonstrations of personality, value and autonomy. There is nothing wrong with this, as it is often necessary for a guy in his own evolution, to try to get laid a lot – some are successful and some are not…the gamble here though is high. By learning these external demonstrations, with a bit of performance savvy, one can “pretend” to be someone else. The issue is that we can illicit responses from others that were internally unprepared for – this can be damaging in the long-run.

If you want to be successful with women, leading to having a girlfriend and other healthy relationships, it becomes important to focus on the primary relationship in our life FIRST – the one with yourself. This is where/why I use the word autonomy. If you toss a needy guy a bunch of interesting things to say, you still have a needy guy…kind of a drag for most guys…So, how to really evolve and see others for who they are, and not as someone who will “complete me” and finally “make me happy”…the answer is – autonomy.

A guy who is autonomous naturally relates to others. In fact, there are no “skills” per se, but rather means of communicating and pursuing an aim. To learn how to be successful with women, it is necessary to dive into my life as fully as possible – with or without them. From there, a modicum of social skills will go miles – why? You won’t have to simulate, but rather simply relate to others.

What are the skills?

Engaging women (or people for that matter) in conversation
Flirting/Teasing
Baiting
Storytelling
Listening
Calibration
Escalation

Gimmicks/routines can help a bit with internalizing these – that’s why we teach some (but only the ones that are truly necessary) – but really they are learned via the process of living a life a bit closer to MYSELF. Women want to be led, and to feel secure by the presence of a man – if a guy is insecure and a “reactor” to his life…he’ll fall flat on his face with the best gimmicks in the world..

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Filed Under: Inner Game

About the Author: Stephen Nash is the founder of Cutting Edge Image Consulting. He is an Original Pick-up Artist and a well documented expert. Stephen has worked with thousands of clients, and is the author of the best-selling How To Get a Girlfriend.

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